Do you think of yourself as a tolerant person? Most of us would like to think we are. In a positive way we tolerate different perspectives and practices without having to share them. BUT is there a point when our openness and toleration can turn into a negative? The answer is YES.
Too much toleration can wear us down.
Tony Robbins is quoted as saying “we all get what we tolerate,” meaning our lives reflect what we settle for. What we put up with.
When was the last time you took an inventory of things you’re putting up with or settling for?
Those things that are harmful for you but that you’re allowing into your life for one reason or another. Those tolerations and their associated emotions can have a negative impact on your energy and overall ability to thrive. How? Because every emotion that we have is either positive – moving us closer to our best self – or negative – moving us away from our best self.
Examples of tolerations could be the friend who feels the need to keep score of who is contributing the most to the friendship. It could be the way you’ve been feeling unhealthy, with less energy and focus than you know is possible. Or the job that has you waking up in the middle of the night with feelings of dread and anxiety.
What is the best way to say “no more settling” and move into a place of positive? The quickest way is to start ZAPPING your tolerations.
Step 1: Become aware
For the next week, tune into those moments when you feel you’re allowing something that has a negative impact on you. Anything avoidable that you’ve been putting up with for far too long. Jot them down and make a list. Keep in mind that excessive tolerations can happen not only with people but also situations or environments.
Step 2: Make a choice
Pick one of your tolerations – one that really bothers you but does not seem too overwhelming – to be your first “toleration zap.”
Step 3: Take action
Decide on a course of action for zapping your toleration. Start by building your support system. We all need trusted individuals to help us enable change. Individuals who will support us and help us stretch outside of our comfort zones. Because, let’s face it, if it were that easy to do it alone we would have done it by now! If it’s a difficult conversation you need to have with someone, write it out and role play with your trusted support individual. If you want to start a workout routine, who can you enlist to join you at the gym or be your workout accountability partner? If it’s time to start looking for a new job, make a list of people to reach out to in your network, and/or consider hiring a coach.
There’s never a better time than right now to start clearing the way to your best self. Small steps forward can deliver a substantial impact.
What will be your first toleration zap? Take your first step forward and post in the comment section below.
And if you know someone who might benefit from this, please share.
*Photo by Mike Wilson